Eulogy
by shiroratsukari
Summary: During the course of this war, Lavi will die. It's a fact, a 100% statistical probability and a truth. Lavi writes his eulogy while Kanda fumes; but it's these moments that are the most precious because sometimes the simplest things are the most difficult and wisdom comes from the least expected.


Disclaimer: I do not own D. Grayman.

Summary: During the course of this war, Lavi will die. It's a fact, a 100% statistical probability and a truth. Lavi writes his eulogy while Kanda fumes; but it's these moments that are the most precious because sometimes the simplest things are the most difficult and wisdom comes from the least expected.

 **Eulogy**

It was a peaceful night. Though Kanda had the habit of sleeping and waking early, he couldn't deny that late nights at the Order were the most tranquil and bearable. For starters, most of the populace were asleep, save for the science division who locked themselves up in the basement. Tired from having just arrived back from his last mission, Kanda was glad for some quiet. To his dismay, the blessing wasn't given as he passed the library on his way to his quarters.

"Thanks to his grace and valour, the Exorcists bested the Noah in the final battle for humanity!"

"No…that doesn't sound quite right…how about…"

"His dashing looks, unparalleled wit and skillful handle of his Innocence made him an irreplaceable member of the Order!"

"Eh…that doesn't sound right either…"

Obnoxious voice and paper crunching could be heard from the open door of the library, light streaming through. Kanda groaned. Of all the people to be awake (though he supposed the Usagi never slept early) it had to be him. Lavi, papers sprawled across the table before him, sat facing the door of the library. Should Kanda pass, he was certain the redhead would notice.

Stealing a quick glance over, Kanda noticed that the boy seemed pre-occupied, a new piece of paper being madly scribbled on. Perhaps if he was quiet enough, he could slip by.

"Done!" Lavi proclaimed as he proudly held up the paper, startling the samurai in the process.

"Neh, Yuu~ I know you've been there a while. Welcome back! Take a seat, I wanna show ya somethin'!" Lavi smiled as he beckoned the now fuming Exorcist to join him.

Cursing any and every deity he could remember, mood sour, Kanda put on his most irritated glare and answered the enthusiastic redhead, "like hell."

"Ehhhhhh~? Why not?" Lavi whined, the action not helping to improve Kanda's mood.

Kanda, annoyed, decided that storming off would be the best way to avoid the idiot and would have done just that had a dead weight not suddenly attached itself to his leg. He really had to wonder how one so loud and colourful managed to so successfully sneak up on people unnoticed.

"Usagi. Let. Go." Kanda demanded, hand instinctively inching towards Mugen.

"But I need advice! And no one else-EEP!" Lavi squeaked as a sharp katana was pointed dangerously close to his throat.

"Let. Go." Kanda demanded again, this time with far more success.

"Okay, okay," Lavi surrendered, holding up both hands as he stood up from the ground, "look, I let go. So…errr, anyone ever tell ya not ta run while waving sharp objects?"

This question was answered by yet another scream as Kanda demonstrated just why running around waving sharp objects was a dangerous act; especially to redheaded idiots.

Kanda isn't sure how he ended up sitting next to the redhead some minutes later reading over a piece of ink splattered paper, marvelling at how legible the other teen's writing actually was.

"His bravery, reliability and unmatched strength, great assets to the war, combined with his cunning and grace, became the key to the end of the six thousand year war." Kanda read, disbelieving every word of it. "The hell is this?" he demanded.

"It's titled: Lavi's eulogy," came the answer, "so? Whatcha think?"

"Tch. Why're you writing such useless things? The war's nowhere near ended. We're still fighting," Kanda, annoyed, crumpled up the piece of paper in his hands.

"Hey! That was the best one yet!" Lavi complained as he wrestled it from Kanda's grip, trying to save his masterpiece.

" _That_ was the 'best one yet'?" Kanda asked, incredulous, "that was more full of shit than the earlier one. Are you even allowed to lie that much?"

A flinch; well-hidden but still evident to Kanda's battle-trained eye. He may not be as quick and detail oriented as the Bookman-to-be, but he was certain he hadn't been mistaken.

"Hey!" Lavi huffed, "what's that suppose ta mean? It's all true, every word of it!"

"Tch, just what part of you is "brave", "reliable", and "unmatched in strength"," Kanda asked, quoting from the earlier piece of junk he had read.

"Ehh? I'm brave! I'm staying here in the dark and scary library all by myself after everyone's gone off ta sleep!" Lavi complimented himself, as he gave himself a chest pump, pride evident while Kanda sighed in disbelief.

"I'm going to bed." Kanda stated as he moved to get up.

"What? You can't!" Lavi demanded, "you haven't chosen a eulogy yet!"

Kanda, anger mark evident, glared at the now cowering redhead, "then hurry the hell up and write one that actually makes sense!"

"How 'bout 'he never stood a chance 'gainst the enraged Yuu-chan who-" Lavi never finished as he found himself at the mercy of Mugen once again.

"Don't call me by that name!" Kanda demanded. The idiot had to be doing this on purpose. No sane person was this stupid.

"Kidding! Kidding!" Lavi said as he tried to calm down the fuming samurai.

A standstill occurred as both parties refused to move. Lavi for the purpose of keeping his head attached to the rest of his body and Kanda for the sake of keeping the Usagi quiet for a few seconds longer.

"How 'bout 'Cunning, handsome, witty and reliable. A man amongst men!'?" Lavi suggested.

The "man amongst men" squeaked as Kanda drove his blade closer, just missing the redhead's neck.

Again, Kanda isn't sure how he ends up sitting civilly next to the redhead as Lavi spouts more ridiculous eulogies. Ranging from praising Lavi's physique to his battle prowess, each eulogy became worse than the last as more ridiculous stupidities were added to them. Kanda debates if he should just end the Usagi's life now and end the suffering he was being forced to undergo.

"Yuu? Ya listenin'?" Lavi asks.

If Kanda were being honest, he'd say no. The consequences of that being the idiot would probably repeat the last dozen eulogies he'd just recited. So Kanda answered with a, "che", which seemed to translate into "yes".

"Why the hell are you writing your eulogy anyways?" Kanda asks some minutes later. The eulogies were becoming boring.

"Huh? Well, like I said, they're Lavi's eulogies," came the answer.

"That's what I just asked, baka." Kanda clicks his tongue, not being one who liked repeating himself. And why the hell does the idiot keep speaking in third person?

The redheaded teen seems to hesitate before giving an answer. "During the course of this war, Lavi will die. It's a fact, a 100% statistical probability and a truth. Even if he survives the final battle of this war, Lavi will die at the end. There are no endings in which he survives."

Silence follows the Bookman Junior's bold statement, as if the first to break it would be admitting a weakness. Lavi glances over at Kanda without truly glancing over. A Bookman thing. Kanda senses the glace more than sees it. A Kanda thing.

If understanding is born from the Bookman Junior's words, Kanda doesn't let slip and Lavi doesn't ask.

"Are you writing a eulogy or a desire?"

Lavi doesn't answer the question. Kanda isn't sure if it's because he doesn't know the answer or can't give the answer.

"Che. This is a waste of time," Kanda says as he impatiently grabs a quill and paper. The samurai is still for but a second before he turns his attention to the empty canvas and begins to etch the words the redhead himself could not, would not or didn't know he could write.

When he's done, Kanda shoves the finished work into Lavi's confused hands before abruptly standing and leaving the library. Stunned, the redhead does nothing to stop him and can only blink in dismay at the now slightly smudged words written on the paper in his hands. Lavi's eye widens slightly at the words Kanda had left him before allowing himself a small smile.

"Thank you," he whispers to no one in particular as he begins to pack his belongings.

Upon his return, Bookman questions him on where he'd been. Lavi simply shrugs as he says he needed to look up some references in the library before turning in for bed, the paper hidden away. It is only after he hears Bookman's breathing even out that he dares take it out.

Lavi smiles to himself as he holds up the piece of paper with Kanda's messy sprawl on it. It was short, elegant and very much un-Kanda-like. But he thinks that's perhaps exactly what the 49th him was looking for; the single thing that the 49th him could hope for.

"Lavi: Exorcist of the Order, comrade in arms. May he always be remembered."

 **-End-**

Thanks for reading! Suggestions, comments and critiques are more than welcome!


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